Monthly Archives: November 2012

Caribbean, Featured, St. Lucia

I Got Rickrolled at My Own Wedding

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November 10, 2012. James and I planned for nearly two years to make our nuptials something truly special to us. During those 2 years we attended a combined total of 9 weddings. Needless to say, we were feeling pretty seasoned in the weeks leading up to our own. Pretty much feeling like Wedding Warriors actually. So between the 2 years of planning, the assistance of our incomparable on-island wedding planner and our warrior mindset, we were feeling ready for our big night.

The truth is, nothing you can do ahead of time can truly prepare you for the axis-bending experience of your own wedding. It feels like a surreal vortex. It’s impossible to describe the multitude of unique emotions: the lightness of pure joy counterbalancing the weight of your awe and the depth of the humility you feel. The emotions combine with a warping of time and space, where everything happens at lightning speed but you are somehow able to zero-in on moments that went on and on into the night.

It was awe-some.

Our ceremony was magical. We picked a location that was earth-shatteringly stunning. Our wedding planner Nadia added the perfect touches to make it incredibly romantic. Our most favorite people in the world filled it up. We then threw in some unconventionality: we began the ceremony with each member of the wedding party ‘walking’ down the aisle of the ruins to the tune of their own chosen ‘theme song.’ We thought it’d make everyone relax a little and bring smiles all around. Instead, it was like a powder keg explosion of awesomeness. Our friends came unleashed at each solo entrance, dancing their faces off with their own unique styles. I thought my heart was going to burst with a mixture of delight, pride, and good old-fashioned, soul-deep laughter. From Macklemore to Queen to Steve Wonder, each new song brought new antics and a new level of delight. We were like little kids, reveling in the magic of music and friends, everyone downright giddy with the fun of it all. And yes, my little sister, ever the clever one, finished off her Matron of Honor entrance with a Rickroll just as she hit the altar. It’s a good thing I had a long walk ahead of me, so I had time to compose my hysterical laughter and take the walk with composure, as it was the one moment I wanted to savor seriously: the chance to walk with my Dad, my first hero, toward the man I’m going to spend a lifetime trying to deserve. We shared words that meant the world, our sisters shared messages of love and my beloved Godfather read our favorite message from A.A. Milne about being two balloons with our direction going up. We shared our commitments to each other, our dear friend Trevor bound us to each other by the power invested in him by, as he likes to say, “the internet,” and then James kissed me with a sincerity women (and men!) the world over spend lifetimes longing for, complete with a shower of flower petals and thunderous applause.

Magic. Brought to us that day by the letters B and C, our families, friends, music, St. Lucia, and yes, even a little Rick Astley.

-M

*Photo by the incredible Samuel Wright

Musings

Why I’ve failed at blogging

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On a daily basis I find I myself asking why, with every passion in the world to write, did my attempt to blog fail so grandly? I’m haunted firstly by the clichés: All the best laid plans… Every good intention… etcera and so forth. Easy excuses come instantly to mind and sound so easy rolling off the tongue: “I got a big girl job.” “Work was so demanding.” “I live in Hawaii, I should be at the beach, not at the computer.” “I wasn’t generating enough readers.” All the excuses boil down to the next level of realization: self-depreciation: “I’m lazy.” “I have trouble committing myself.” “I’m overwhelmed.” “I’m a procrastinator with ADD and no follow-through.” “I suck at this.” “What was I thinking?” “I can’t.” It’s endless rounds of mentally punching yourself in the ear.

Then you just feel shitty about the whole attempt and try to think about anything else.

Weeks went by without a post, then months, and lo, for no real good reason whatsoever, I had today. And today, I had a need to write. This post spilled out of the ashes of the blog bust, and something true has begun to emerge. A new vision; a new passion is germinating. These stirrings echo my initial intentions of blogging glory, but ring with a wisdom and an insight that none but time, experience, and yes, utter failure can bolster. Here I sit, after a grueling day at work, facing a grandiose void of 10 months between my last post and this, my staggering lack of successful attempts and still, I’m writing. The gaping void allowed me to analyze myself and see something real, something solid. I have burrowed to the roots of my failure. The rest of the excuses were merely symptoms.

There are two root causes of the epic blog fail:

1. I ignored the cardinal rule of blogging: to just WRITE. All the time. The End.

2. I stopped reading other blogs.

There they are. I’ve said them aloud. And what’s better: I’ve published them. No longer in denial: check. They say that’s the first step toward progress.

Why these two reasons? It is only through failure I have been able to recognize and understand them.

1. I’ve read a hundred blogs about how to be a successful blogger. They always have a common thread: just WRITE. They warn you, the words don’t have to be perfect, they just have to be written. A blogger’s life expectancy is judged first on quantity, then quality narrows the field to what’s worth reading. I found myself trapped by an obsession with content and a determination that every piece must fit narrowly in my genre. I was my own worst enemy, letting the lack of an exciting subject or a need to produce something awesome every entry bog me down until I was subconsciously keeping myself from writing anything. No, I’m not a successful blogger. Not yet anyway. But I know how true the wisdom of those that are impart on us that aren’t (yet). Whatever you do, just write. Every. Damn. Day. It’s the only way to even start to ripple in this realm.

2. This one’s pretty self-explanatory. When I stopped reading other blogs regularly, I lost my inspiration/motivation/the spark/competitiveness/determination to succeed. There’s nothing more powerful a motivator than seeing someone you can relate to accomplish exactly what you desire. How can one emulate success when you lose the lodestar that launched you on your adventure in the first place?

So here we go. As with every good education, it all begins with reading and writing. Now that I’ve written, I’m off to read.

-M

Want to join me? I’m going here now: http://www.candicedoestheworld.com/