On a daily basis I find I myself asking why, with every passion in the world to write, did my attempt to blog fail so grandly? I’m haunted firstly by the clichés: All the best laid plans… Every good intention… etcera and so forth. Easy excuses come instantly to mind and sound so easy rolling off the tongue: “I got a big girl job.” “Work was so demanding.” “I live in Hawaii, I should be at the beach, not at the computer.” “I wasn’t generating enough readers.” All the excuses boil down to the next level of realization: self-depreciation: “I’m lazy.” “I have trouble committing myself.” “I’m overwhelmed.” “I’m a procrastinator with ADD and no follow-through.” “I suck at this.” “What was I thinking?” “I can’t.” It’s endless rounds of mentally punching yourself in the ear.
Then you just feel shitty about the whole attempt and try to think about anything else.
Weeks went by without a post, then months, and lo, for no real good reason whatsoever, I had today. And today, I had a need to write. This post spilled out of the ashes of the blog bust, and something true has begun to emerge. A new vision; a new passion is germinating. These stirrings echo my initial intentions of blogging glory, but ring with a wisdom and an insight that none but time, experience, and yes, utter failure can bolster. Here I sit, after a grueling day at work, facing a grandiose void of 10 months between my last post and this, my staggering lack of successful attempts and still, I’m writing. The gaping void allowed me to analyze myself and see something real, something solid. I have burrowed to the roots of my failure. The rest of the excuses were merely symptoms.
There are two root causes of the epic blog fail:
1. I ignored the cardinal rule of blogging: to just WRITE. All the time. The End.
2. I stopped reading other blogs.
There they are. I’ve said them aloud. And what’s better: I’ve published them. No longer in denial: check. They say that’s the first step toward progress.
Why these two reasons? It is only through failure I have been able to recognize and understand them.
1. I’ve read a hundred blogs about how to be a successful blogger. They always have a common thread: just WRITE. They warn you, the words don’t have to be perfect, they just have to be written. A blogger’s life expectancy is judged first on quantity, then quality narrows the field to what’s worth reading. I found myself trapped by an obsession with content and a determination that every piece must fit narrowly in my genre. I was my own worst enemy, letting the lack of an exciting subject or a need to produce something awesome every entry bog me down until I was subconsciously keeping myself from writing anything. No, I’m not a successful blogger. Not yet anyway. But I know how true the wisdom of those that are impart on us that aren’t (yet). Whatever you do, just write. Every. Damn. Day. It’s the only way to even start to ripple in this realm.
2. This one’s pretty self-explanatory. When I stopped reading other blogs regularly, I lost my inspiration/motivation/the spark/competitiveness/determination to succeed. There’s nothing more powerful a motivator than seeing someone you can relate to accomplish exactly what you desire. How can one emulate success when you lose the lodestar that launched you on your adventure in the first place?
So here we go. As with every good education, it all begins with reading and writing. Now that I’ve written, I’m off to read.
-M
Want to join me? I’m going here now: http://www.candicedoestheworld.com/
Meagzpeditions 